*Not a post about marriage.
Since August, I have kept my sweet Aubrey every working weekday from 6:30 A.M. to 4:30 in the afternoon. We have had good days and bad days. We have laughed and cried together. We have come to love each other and she is my best friend.
She is an omphalocele baby, and had a lot of hinderances in her earliest development. She had her lat surgery just a month before "Meme" came into the picture. While she still has the Mic-Key button for a g-tube feed of pediasure peptide three times a day and continuously at night, I have been able to witness this child grow in her food adventures. I have watched her go from needing help to stand and only clumsily walking, to crawling and standing up own her own to going up and down steps and running without falling. I've listened as she went from only being able to say "mama" and "dada" to saying real, understandable words and singing theme songs for her favorite shows as well as the ABC song as clear as she can. 
It's no secret she has learned so much. She is a smart kid! What might be just as important though, is all that I've learned from her. She's turning a whopping TWO years old next month so I've taken a moment to write down some of the lessons she taught me, rather than what we've taught her!
1. The difference between a fake cry and a real one. The real one breaks your heart. Real, huge tears and uncontrollable sobbing lets me know she is really upset or in pain. The fake one though, the one where she throws a half tantrum to get what she wants, took a moment to separate. She's a great actress.
2. Nothing is gross. I have had to wash throw up out of my hair, snot off my neck, and poop off my wedding rings. It comes with the territory of caring for a small child. I used to consider myself a germaphope, but I can still eat finger foods with my hands... Without gloves.
3. Good luck with your nice things. Speaking of gross, she put my new Fossil satchel in the toilet. I started carrying a heavier bag.
4. Saying yes more won't hurt anything. I've found it more fun to ask, "why not" instead of "why"? If it doesn't harm her or teach her a bad habit, and mom and dad say it's ok, she is allowed. Plus, how could I resist her sweet eyes and "peas"?
5. Saying no will only hurt for a moment. That's when I began to learn what a fake cry looked like, exactly. In fact, it comes on cue. "No, you can't play in the trashcan." 1, 2, 3... Here comes the whine and wiping of the face for the nonexistent tears (still cute).
6. Patience as a virtue. As tempting as it is to just do it for her, she won't learn anything that way except that someone else will do it. So naturally it takes a little longer to do any task if I want her to see she can do it, as opposed to just picking her up and doing it myself.
7. Kindness as a character trait. She is the most kind child. She wants to share, she wants to be nice, she wants to include you. Being around her this way also makes me want to share, be nice, and include others.
8. Everyone has a parenting opinion. Once, as we were shopping in Walmart, she wouldn't keep her hands inside the cart. After she slapped it hard on a cement pole, I gently TAPPED her hand and pulled it back in to her as told her to play with the toy she'd picked out. Like clockwork, she started the fake whine and others around us, assuming I was her mother, gave me the dirtiest looks I've ever received. One woman even asked, "Did mean ol' mommy hurt the baby?" as I stood there consoling her myself. What? I left crying, feeling sorry and guilty. But later that day I resolved that if I ever have to discipline my own future children in public and someone insinuates I abuse them, I'll just have to tell them they're next. (Yes, I had permission from mom and dad to pop.) If you are a parent, I pray you never doubt your own ability to raise a child by the way people judge how you choose to discipline or feed or clothe or bathe or anything..unless you actually are abusive or neglectful of course. Ok, off my soap box. 
9. Nap time is essential. She gains all her energy back to keep playing, and we both keep our sanity. Her naps can last anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours. Some days she doesn't want to nap, and that's okay. We just cuddle and read or sing or watch something that isn't cartoons for thirty minutes or an hour. That time to rest, though, is so important for her day. At least for now...
10. Toddlers are watching every move. It's been easier to keep myself accountable to exercising since I started this "job", because I do it with her. She loves to mimic everything I do and especially enjoys the dancing parts.
11. Toddlers hear every word. This only started recently, but she now tries to repeat most things I say. Therefore, I am sure to say things I would want to hear from her. Constant love and grace must flow from my mouth, because every word I say is now reaching her ears and finding her heart. I'm pleased to report that "happy" is the newest word she likes to yell.
12. Toddlers can interpret "the look". Sometimes, like when she wants to climb the entertainment center, she will look at me for approval first. I don't need to fuss or even say no, I just give her the "do you really think it's a good plan to do that thing" look and she giggles and walks away. Simple! Small kids are smarter than we give them credit for.
13. There is power in a middle name. She doesn't like it when I have to include "Grace" when speaking to her. She doesn't like it one bit. Cue actual meltdown.
14. OCD is not an option. Why do I feel the need for a perfect pattern, sequence, or to use the parts with the toy they came with? Imagination is such a beautiful thing when it's free from my obsessive perfectionism.
15. I'm a great pretender. Missed my own actress calling.
16. Disney Jr has the best theme songs. Nothing comes close to the catchy stuff Disney has. Not to mention the shows that follow are so fun, I don't even mind watching the same one five times a week.
17. Kids need your attention, encouragement, and praise. Whenever they are trying something new and are not sure of themselves, they looks to us for a "you can do this". Whenever they succeed, they look to us for a "you did it". Whenever they fail, the look to us for a "that's okay, you'll do it next time" or a "let's try again".
18. Everything is funny. Every. Single. Thing. I laugh so hard at things I never would have smiled at before. Toddlers help you find humor in everyday stuff and sometimes, if you let them, provide the comic relief themselves. 
19. I don't miss "adult conversation". She never gossips, she never complains, and she never asks me tough questions like, "are you going to put on real pants today?" And that might be my favorite thing about her.
20. Reminding a child you love them makes you feel loved, even if they don't say it back. Until recently, Aubrey couldn't (or wouldn't) say love you. But I told her all day every day anyway because she sometimes reciprocated with a tight hug or smile, and that was enough. Now, she says "wubb buyy" and that is more than heartwarming.
21. Go outside when you can. I took our thirty minute summer and fall walks for granted. I know this now because she desperately wants to be outside, and so do I. The problem is, since November, it's been entirely too cold. Going in the garage with a coat is just not the same. Luckily, in southern Alabama we can get a nice 70 degrees some days in February!
22. There are moments too precious for Facebook. When she crawls in my lap just to be held, when she calls out, "HEY" as she wakes from her nap and smiles when she sees me enter the room, when she walks up out of nowhere and kisses me on the cheek then turns away...the only people I share her most precious moments with (when I can capture them) are her parents and sometimes my own family. When I have my own babies some day, I will be able to decide which moments are just for me and them, not the rest of the world. I don't want to influence her to think that every little thing must be instagrammed and I want her to know that our quality time is special enough to me to commit it to personal memory, not Facebook. That being said, she has her own hashtag and you can find lots of her on my social media. She's my bestie, duh.
23. Learning is a result of teaching. If I work with her, she learns. If I don't, she doesn't.
24. I am important. Two people have trusted me with the thing they love the most. That thing also trusts me. While here in Alabama for this short time, God blessed me and gave me a purpose outside of being Ryan's wife.
25. Mommy and Daddy will always be first choice. No matter how happy she is with me, she is always sad to see them going away in the morning and always glad to see them come home at the end of the day. It puts me at ease to know that should I have to leave my future children and work, they will still love me best and need me most. That is the most comforting of all. 
